Teamwork. The essential element

Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.

Beyond the knowledge of business and it's complexities - way beyond the expertise of advertising gurus and marketing mavens, there is a place where the seeds of success germinate. Find this place and success and real happiness will be yours.

Why do I say it's hard to find a rich hermit? Because outstanding success requires the focused hands and minds and hearts or others. We call it teamwork.

TEAMWORK is the element that lets common people achieve uncommon results. Putting a team together to achieve an uncommon objective requires several essential elements.

Whether you are forming a new team or helping to rejuvenate an established team, you need time and patience. There is no such thing as a quick team fix. Building a team and inspiring teamwork is a long process of learning.

Acquire the words tones and actions that attract others to you and your ideas. Learn how to WOW your audience. Develop verbal words and phrases that absolutely

People enjoy working with and relating to happy, optimistic people. When things are getting difficult, a smile or positive approach to a problem can make the difference between success and failure of a project.

Take care over personal grooming. Wear good quality, well cared for clothes that project a suitable image. Learn about body language, and learn how to adopt a good, open posture.

Therefore the words you use in conversation must not alienate those who could be your best asset. Never forget that the words you chose to describe other people say a lot about you as an individual. When you describe your view of their personal life or their personal goals reflects your own inner attitudes. Your words reveal a great deal about your own character. Chose them deliberately and with great care.

When you manage a relationship you are improving it for mutual advantage. When you exploit a relationship you are improving your results at the expense of the other person. If you exploit other people, then you will probably get a reputation for this. Your teambuilding aspirations will suffer long term. It will also cultivate an unnecessarily cynical attitude to other people.

Therefore it is imperative that you say it right the first time. Last year I wrote an article titled "Polly & Paul Pop-off Meet The Law of Unintended Consequences." Briefly it said that long ago I recognized that the words we thoughtlessly (pop-off) can bury us in a hole deeper than we can escape without scars. I outlined specific words and phrases that incite or at least invite conflict.

Over my forty years observation and research I've seen more relationships, friendships, and business deals sabotaged by a slip of the tongue (a pop-off). Just one careless remark frequently sets in motion
We have all seen lifetime friends dissolve over just one remark. We've seen marriages end over stupid comments. Business partners loose their successful business because they no longer communicate. Difficult to believe just one remark could do that much damage, but it does. You must never rely on the length of any relationship as your excuse for not monitoring your "pop-off " remarks.

These verbal screw-ups are practically irreversible due to emotional reactions that remain in the other person's mind for days, or weeks and sometimes years. When bad emotional reactions are triggered it's unlikely opportunity to fix-up the screw-up will come to pass.

The "never pop-off" rule applies especially when meeting people for the first time. Avoiding stupid, uninspired, spontaneous comments is more important dealing with first time encounters far more than with old friends and acquaintances.

Why would an intelligent person let that kind of careless stupidity happen? Because these remarks and comments are habitually spontaneous. They have repeated those comments all their lives. It generally has no consequences. For that reason it doesn't occur to them to be less spontaneous and reckless with conversation. The need to be more thoughtful before speaking is a totally new concept.

Sometime in the past we heard these pop-off comments. We probably thought they were humorous or clever at the time. But, while we may think of some of them as clever, others perceive them as just plain "smart-ass."

The formula for breaking detrimental "smart ass" habits requires that we acknowledge that "every remark produces either reward or penalty." Second, you must remind yourself every single day that "words once spoken can never be recalled." Third, realize that the only purpose of any conversation is to gain a benefit or to avoid a loss and should be directed with those facts in mind. There simply are no unimportant words. There either work for you or against you. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
Now you ask? Are old friends more important than new encounters, considering I have an investment of time in the relationship? 
The answer is no! Generally old friends (if they are friends) will forgive your unintended misspeak. They may know you say stupid things from time. Whereas, on a first encounter you don't get a second chance to make a good first impression.
People rarely examine their speech patterns or comments. They just pop them right off with no thought. They just go on and on, year after year, saying the same things they have always said, no matter that disasters are created by their words. They assume the resulting disasters are the fault of the other fellow. Their favorite comment is "if they don't like it, they can lump it," a response no brighter than the one that got them into trouble in the beginning.

THE RULE: Never assume your "smart-mouth" pop-off remarks are clever commentary. Remember, for you it is a matter of careful contemplation or disastrous consequences. 

Dr. Oscar says, "Think first - or - Pay later."